The Voices You Should Listen To & Those You Shouldn’t

Parents in youth hockey often struggle with knowing whose advice to take and whose to ignore. The truth is, the most helpful voices come from those who focus on long-term growth, not short-term glory. Let’s break down the difference between advice worth listening to and advice you’re better off avoiding.

First, the parents worth paying attention to are those with a sense of balance and realism. They don’t live and die by every shift on the ice or every tournament result. Instead, they focus on the big picture: their child’s overall development. These parents ask thoughtful questions—like whether it’s better for their kid to play on a higher-level team as a role player or stay at a lower level and get more ice time. They’re not afraid to admit they don’t have all the answers, but they approach situations with a grounded, common-sense perspective.

These parents value sports not just as a means to an end but as a tool for teaching life lessons—discipline, teamwork, resilience. They understand that even if their child works hard and loves the game, the odds of going pro are incredibly slim. So instead of chasing the impossible, they focus on creating an environment where their kid can thrive, learn, and enjoy the process.

Now, contrast that with the parents you want to tune out. These are the ones who seem to have an opinion on everything but offer little actual value. They’re the ones constantly talking about rumors, other teams, or what this coach or that player is supposedly doing. They act like insiders, but most of their information is just noise. These parents tend to focus on comparison and competition in ways that aren’t healthy, creating unnecessary pressure for their kids and fostering doubt among other parents.

What’s worse, they often pull others into their drama—whether by spreading half-truths or trying to build alliances against coaches, teams, or programs. Their advice is rarely about the child’s development and more about their own need to be involved or heard.

The key lesson for parents is this: youth hockey is supposed to be about growth, learning, and enjoyment—not manufacturing a future NHL player. The overwhelming majority of kids won’t reach elite levels, and that’s okay. What matters most is fostering a love for the game and helping kids develop life skills they’ll carry beyond the rink.

If you’re a parent, focus on what you can control. Encourage your child to work hard, embrace challenges, and be a great teammate. Block out the noise, avoid unnecessary drama, and remember that every child’s journey is unique. In the end, the best thing you can do is support your kid in becoming not just a better player, but a better person. That’s the real win.